reviews
“Love CAN begin at the wiser age of 40. Many letters come to this page from readers who find themselves single at an age when dating seems a distant memory. Maybe they’ve never found Mr or Ms Right, or (more often) the dream has crumbled and (like both people whose letters I have used this week) they find themselves alone. People try dating websites (sometimes with success), but again and again I’m faced with the question: ‘How do I meet somebody?’
It’s a pleasure to point you in the direction of help. A new book, Love Begins At 40, is about this very quest, and it offers a wealth of practical advice, as well as real encouragement to those scared of trying again.
Its subtitle says it all - A Guide To Starting Over. The authors, Cherry Gilchrist and Lara Owen, had respectively faced the end of a 30-year marriage and a long-term relationship and each had tried internet sites, dating agencies and newspaper ads. Meeting by chance, they decided to pool their experiences.
The result is inspiring, as well as useful. Here’s a taste of the tone: ‘Instead of retreating, we encourage you to be brave and to honour your desire for love. Yes, it will take some effort, but if you have the willingness to open your heart, refine your strategy, work on your weak spots and persevere in the quest, then success can be yours.’
I couldn’t have put it better myself. But Gilchrist and Owen go far beyond the ‘pull yourself up and believe’ exhortations, which are the staple of self-help. They get down to the nitty-gritty of how to phrase your ad, what tone to adopt if you leave a message, how to deal with ‘baggage,’ the importance of being flexible and so on.
Perhaps most important of all, Love Begins At 40 will be a support to those who try but don’t achieve instant success. Its lessons about what you can learn from the actual journey are invaluable.
I have absolutely no doubt that this book will help countless people in their quest for love in midlife.”
Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, Saturday June 14 2008
“Though a happily single woman, I found this book fascinating – and it might even encourage me to think about changing my status! I’m sure the course of true love will run a good deal smoother the second, or even the third time around, with the help of this kind, practical and thought provoking book.”
Mary Cutler, Radio Dramatist & Scriptwriter for The Archers
